Insane in the membrane
by nostalgiafan2
Summary: Phil Brooks was a completely sane and sound man. But there was no way he was going to admit that and go to jail. Instead, he chooses to plead insanity and go to Teasdale Mental Health center. Big mistake.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Phil Brooks was a completely sane and normal man. But there was no way he'd let the courts find that out. You see, he had committed assault and battery. Some asshole had completely robbed him blind, stolen nearly everything he had. But sadly, the guy got sold off all of the stuff and no evidence was found to prove him guilty, so, the justice system, being its normal fucked up self, this guy was let off scott free. So one day, Phil found this guy on the streets and beat the living shit out of him. As luck would have it, Phil got caught and was arrested. At his trial, he was faced with two options. Either accept charges and face a prison sentence for god knows how long, or plead insanity and be taken to a mental health institute until further notice. Naturally, Phil chose what he thought would be the calm and relaxed hospital life. But Teasdale Mental Health Center was far from it.

Phil was just standing around relaxing in the day room his first few hours at the center, then suddenly, a hyperactive patient came running around the pillar, jumping around the room.

"HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI! I'M MICKIE! WHAT'S YOUR NAME!? WHY ARE YOU HERE!? WANNA BE FRIENDS!? LET'S BE FRIENDS! YAY WE'RE FRIENDS!"

Mickie then clenched her teeth an laughed hysterically. Two orderlies grabbed her and took her away.

"Jesus." Phil said to himself.

Another patient slowly walked by.

"Hey buddy, know where a bathroom is?" Phil asked.

"My name's Randy, and.. and if you talk to me again.. I'll have to cut your nipples off and staple your eyelids to your forehead so you can look me in the eyes as I do it.."

Randy walked away.

"Oh my god.."

"Alright little Jimmy, now remember, no more junkfood till bedtime!" A patient named Ron said to thin air.

"Okay.. time to find another room.." Phil said, feeling creeped out.

He turned around to leave, but bumped into a bigger, scarier patient in a straitjacket.

"Oh.. um, sorry.. dude." Phil said, feeling intimidated by the blonde muscular man.

"They have me in this straitjacket for a reason.." John Heidenreich said. "WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW WHY!?"

"Not really!" Phil said, completely scared out of his mind.

Heidenreich seemed to either ignore or not notice Phil's protest.

"I once ripped off a patient's ear.. and ATE IT!"

"That's very nice sir! I'm going to go now! Bye!"

Phil ran off, but unfortunately ran into another large scary patient, Kane.

"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING!" Kane screamed at the top of his lungs.

Kane grabbed Phil by the throat and threw him across the room, causing him to crash through the pool table.

"What have I gotten myself into?" Phil asked himself as he lay there in pain.

What do you guys think? I wrote this chapter as a test to see how it would do. Continue or no? If so, then stay tuned for chapter 2~


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2.

After experiencing a great deal of pain, Phil continued to search around the day room for at least half-way normal people, holding his lower back in pain as he did so.

"Hey there." A beautiful young girl with black hair said approaching him.

"Umm..."

"My name is A.J. What's your's?"

Phil was half tempted to just not answer. He was afraid of what insane crap was going to come out of this woman's mouth.

"Come on, don't be shy." She said with a little giggle.

"Phil, Phil Brooks." He finally spat out.

"Well it's really nice to meet you. You seem pretty sane compared to everyone else in here. Are you sure you're crazy?"

"Oh yeah, definitely, nuts, insane, 100% coo coo for cocoa puffs. I promise."

A.J. laughed hysterically.

"Was that funny because it was funny or were you just randomly laughing..?" He asked with caution.

"Because it was funny, silly!" She said, playfully, but painfully punching his shoulder.

He tried to hold back wincing in pain. At the rate he was going he was going to need an actual hospital. Wanting to create conversation, he decided to ask her a question.

"So.. how long have you been here for, if I may ask?"

"Going on 10 years now."

"Wow, that's a pretty long time for an insane asylum, isn't it?" He asked.

"Well, you know." She said, moving her hair to the side.

"This place is werid." Phil said, sounding uncomfortable. "I've always seen it like this on t.v and in movies and shit, but I never figured it would actually be like this."

"You get used to it. Believe me, once you've been here for 10 years you kind of get used to things like shitty food and not being able to sleep at night because of psychotic laughter coming from all the way down the hall, or your own roomate's night terrors." A.J replied.

"Must really suck, sorry you have to go through all of that. I'm only here for a couple of weeks, I'll be out of here in no time." Phil said with confidence.  
"Oh I wouldn't be too sure..."

"What's that supposed to mean..?"

"They can keep you in here for as long as they see fit, or as they call it 'Until we've determined you're safe enough to be on your own'"

"So.." Phil began. "What you're telling me here is, they can keep me locked up in here for as long as they want, even as long as you or longer?"

"Yup."

"Wonderful, just freaking wonderful!" Phil yelled in anger.

"Ssshhh, quiet, they'll sedate you if you keep yelling like that!" A.J. whispered.

"Sorry, sorry."

"Just be more careful next time, wouldn't want you sedated and put in isolation."

"What's isolation?" Phil asked.

"It's this small padded room that they put you in if you become a major threat to yourself or others. It's horrible in there, I've been in there at least 50 times." A.J. explained.

"Wow, I'm really sorry." Phil said sympathetically.

;It's okay."

"You're a really cool person, I'm glad I met you and have the pleasure talking to you. You're the only sane person here. If it's not too personal of a question, and stop me if it is because I certainly wouldn't want to offend you, but what exactly got you in here, for so long I might add?"

"Oh." A.J. Said with a little giggle. "I'm in here for killing my boyfriend and eating his brain."

"...Excuse me...?" Phil asked with his jaw dropped open.

"Yeah... You know how it is, you come home one day and hear your boyfriend chewing gum too loudly the first natural reaction is to just axe him in the face and chest and then dig into his severed head and just chow down on his brains!" She said, twitching and grinding her teeth.

Phil just slowly backed away as A.J stood there twitching and laughing, and not too long after that he ran out of the room.

Stay tuned for chapter 3


End file.
